Bonding Time with Ethan and Kronos
by Purple Embers
Summary: Kronos always was a little unhinged, Ethan just never realised how much. OOC, parody.
1. Who doesn't love carrots?

**A/N: Well I actually dreamt about this. My head is a weird place...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians because if I did this would have happened.**

I was sitting in my tent reading Twilight, when suddenly I heard a loud voice coming from outside.

"Ethan Nakamura, report to Kronos's tent."

I sighed; I had just got up to the bit in Twilight where Edward saved Bella from James. It was so romantic.

"NOW Ethan" the loud voice boomed again.

"I'm going, I'm going." I spoke to no one in particular.

I walked with long strides to Kronos's newly decorated tent. He had been watching the lifestyle channel lately and decided to paint his tent cherry blossom pink. I slowly opened the flap on his tent and looked inside. Kronos was sitting on his pink bean bag, slowly sinking deeper and deeper.

"Ethan, Thank Tartarus you're here! This bean bag is trying to murder me!" He cried with tears in his eyes. "I...I...I don't want to die"

"Um... yes Master Kronos I'll just get you out of there."

I quickly walked over to Kronos and grabbed him out of the 'murderer bean bag.'

"Thank you Ethan, I owe you"

Yeah you do you gold eyed weirdo. I thought. I would never say that to him in real life though. He would probably make me eat cherry blossom paint or something weird like that.

"Oh yes! I was thinking about something very serious yesterday and... I've made up my mind." He said with a solemn look on his face.

"What is it sir?" I quickly replied. All I really wanted to do was get back to Twilight.

"Well I was thinking about my name. Kronos... It's just so ugly and ungraceful. I'm thinking of changing it."

It had officially happened. Kronos had completely cracked it. I had been a little suspicious ever since he had made the change into Luke's body but this finally confirmed it.

"I've finally made up my mind. I will not now be known as Kronos, my name is now..!"

Suddenly Prothetheus walked in and yelled "Dun Dun Dun DUN!"

"Little Miss Twinkleberry!" He cried with delight.

I looked at him in shock. Was he insane? We were invading New York in a few weeks and he was expecting us to go into battle with the war cry, "For Little Miss Twinkleberry!"

"So what do you think? Pretty cool hey?" He looked at me expecting a positive answer.

I couldn't think of anything. What is someone supposed to say in a situation like this?

Well... It's very manly." I lied through my teeth

"Yes, my thoughts exactly." He said with pride.

"I was also thinking about our camps diet."

"What's wrong with our diet sir... I mean Little Miss Twinkleberry?"

"Way too many carbs! How will we win this war if we have plump warriors?"

Plump... warriors?

"I think our diet is fine Little Miss Twinkleberry"

"Do you want to be food for the hellhound's simpleton?" He yelled so loud I thought my eardrums would burst.

"No sir."

"Well that's good I don't like killing pirates" (A/N: cause he's got a eye patch)

I breathed a sigh of relief he wouldn't kill me... Yet.

"Look at this crate behind me Ethan."

I hadn't noticed it before but it was huge.

"Open it please Pirate." I was starting to really wish he would stop calling me Pirate.

"Yes Little Miss Twinkleberry."

I walked toward the crate. What was it? Maybe it was a bomb! Yes finally some real destruction against those stupid half bloods. I slowly opened it and couldn't believe what was inside.

"Um Kronos?" I asked in shock

"Yes Pirate?"

"Why are their hundreds of carrots in this crate?"

"For our diets. I'm making it a new rule to have at least 37 carrots a day."

Was he serious? How were we supposed to eat 37 carrots a day? I started to get mad. What was wrong with this guy?

"You know what Kronos?" I yelled my rage slowly building.

"I told you my name is Little Miss..."

"I don't give a flying crap if your name is Justin freaking Beiber! No one is going to eat 37 freaking carrots a day and you know why? Because carrots suck! So you know what you can do with your carrots? You can shove them up your ass!"

I began to storm out of his tent. But realised I had left out one small thing.

"And your tent colour, cherry pink blossom, brings out the pimples on your face!" Then I ran out of his tent before he could kill me.

Kronos stared in shock at the retreating figure.

"I actually thought the carrots were a good idea didn't you Prometheus?" He looked at him with a dangerous look in his eyes.

"I thought it was a great idea Little Miss Twinkleberry." Prometheus said with utter seriousness.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I might continue this if I get enough reviews so please review. I will give you a cookieeee...**


	2. Ethan's Robsessed

**A/N: Helloooo again. Well my second chapter and I don't think it's as good as the first. This one is shorter too. But oh well. Have fun reading :)**

"We dance, we dance, we dance. Around the Mexican hat. We..."

That was my phone. I had accidently set it to Mexican dance mode and couldn't get it off.

"Hello, Ethan here." I said waiting for the familiar voice that I knew would soon answer.

"Pirate? It's you!"

"That's probably because it's my phone Kronos." I sighed Kronos hadn't stopped ringing me ever since I left the evil (and insane) ways of the Titan camp to fulfil my real life's dream, meditating with Robert Pattison. So far though, I haven't had any luck.

"How many times do I have to tell you? My name is Little Miss Twinkleberry"

I couldn't believe he was still going on about this Little Miss Twinkleberry thing it was weird, insane and stupid.

"No it's not, your name is Kronos and you're the evilest Titan in the world. You're also now the most INSANE Titan in the world!" I pretty much yelled into the mobile.

"Whatever Trevor. FYI you're not my mom" I stayed silent. I wasn't going to talk to him if he was going to act like someone who just got out of a psychiatric hospital.

"Look, Pirate, I didn't call you to talk about my awesome new name." Right, Awesome. That was about as likely as Perseus Jackson didn't smell like rotten fish.

"I rang to talk about you coming back to our camp."

Come back to the Titan camp? Give up on my dream? I didn't know what to do. But after a few minutes of silence Kronos helped me make up my mind.

"Look... Pirate, I wouldn't offer this to many people but I know that us winning this war counts on you being here, and that has helped me make up my mind in this difficult decision. I will give you my most prized possession. Something I value more than my life itself. I will give you..." He paused as if regretting his decision.

"I will give you my entire collection of My Little Ponies." He continued on. "All 400 of them. I've been collecting them from Tartarus. They actually are some of the most evil beings in this world and when they die are cast down into Tartarus." He let out a deep breath I could hear even over the phone.

I thought about it for around one second before I replied. "Are they in mint condition?"

"Nothing but the best" He told me with no hint of doubt in his voice.

"I'll be there in a few minutes" I told him. "Do NOT touch them, I don't want you getting your insanity all over them."

"Me? Insane? You've got to be kidding me. Little Miss Twinkleberry out." He laughed a maniac laugh and then hung up

That guy is whacko. I thought as I took down my Twilight posters from the apartment walls I had been staying in. Whacko.

**A/N: Well that was the second chapter. Tell me what you think by clicking on the little review button. You know you want too. ;)**


	3. Stranger Danger!

**A/N: Hellllo again. Yay third chapter Ethan running into a bit of trouble on the bus. He forgot STRANGER DANGER... silly boy. Some naughty references in here but not many. Enjoy!**

"So what did you eat for breakfast?"

"I already told you, I don't know!"

I was on the bus going back to the Kronos's camp, when this guy walked on and started asking me really weird questions. And since I had found out that Kronos or "Little Miss Twinkleberry" was insane I was sick of stupid, weird questions.

"So who's your Greek parent?" What! How did this random insane guy know about demigods? Was he one? I had to find out.

"How do you know about that?" I asked him.

"How do you think? I'm a demigod, son of Eros." He replied, like it was the most normal thing in the world to be the son of the god of sexuality.

"Oh... um Eros, that's... interesting" I said, what else was I supposed to say? Ask him questions about his sex life? I think that would be pushing the boundaries just a little.

"Yeah, it is. So who's your Greek mom or dad?" I didn't know how to respond. How did I know that he wasn't a spy for Camp Half Blood? But, what's the harm?

"My mom's Nemesis, the goddess of balance and revenge." I said proudly. I wondered what he would think. Maybe he would think it was really cool.

"Is that the scales lady?" He asked me, a faint smile on his lips.

"Yeah, that's her."

His mouth started twitching as if he was trying to hold back a smile. Then suddenly he couldn't hold it in anymore and started hysterically laughing. Tears were running down his cheeks and he fell off the chair that he had previously been sitting on.

"Hahahaha! The goddess of scales? What are your powers, you can make scales fly or you have special control over Libra's or something? Hahahaha!"

I opened my mouth in shock. Who did this guy think he was? I would show him!

I took the scales that I always kept out of my bag and put them in my lap. I then uttered the magic words.

"Scales powers activate!" The scales flew out of my lap and hit the guy in the head. He was out cold and wouldn't be waking up any time soon. I had never told anyone about my powers over scales before because I knew they would laugh but now was the time to let everyone know how strong I was.

"MWAHAHAHA! I am the evil pirate... I mean demigod Ethan Nakamura. Nothing can stop me!" I kept laughing. "I am invincible! Nobody can stand in my way! I will never back..."

"Hey kid, can you shut up? Some people are trying to get some sleep." I looked around for the male voice that had interrupted my awesome evil speech.

It was a fat man sitting across the aisle taking up two seats and eating a huge bag of Doritos. I gave him my most evil look and asked him a very important question.

"Excuse me sir, but are you a Libra?"

**A/N: Phew, so we've learned that Ethan has powers over scales and another power... tell me in the review if you know what his other power is and why and you get a virtual cupcake! Toodles.**


	4. If you can't beat them, join them

**A/N: Well the last chapter... wahhh but all insane things must come to an end. Anyway I thought that my chapters were just getting worse as I go, so here is my final tribute. Thanks for reading.**

"This is the last stop for this bus tonight, so everyone needs to hop off at this stop. Thank you" That was the bus driver. Even though I was trying not to be, I was excited to be going back to Krono's camp.

Suddenly the bus stopped and I jumped into the aisle before anyone else could. Oooh I was so excited. I would get my tent back and I could eat sausages and poop butterflies... Wait not the last thing but everything else sounded cool.

As soon as I got off the bus I could see the camp around a hundred metres away. I started running until I got into the gates. Then I saw Kronos... I mean Little Miss Twinkleberry and time seemed to slow down.

"Pirate it's you!" He yelled at me, but unusually in a good way. "Let's slow motion run toward each other to make it all dramatic!"

"Sounds good!" I told him. I had always wanted to slow motion run with someone before, almost as much as I wanted to meditate with Robert Pattison.

Suddenly he started running at me, but really slowly. When I started to run my body also slowed down. Oh yeah, he's the Titan of Time. I almost forgot with all this insane stuff that had been happening.

A few minutes later Kronos spoke. "Okay, Pirate this is kind of getting annoying." Kronos said and suddenly we stopped going slow.

"Yeah we've only gone forward like a metre. We should probably stop."

"Good idea Pirate. I'll see you in my tent." And he walked off to his tent.

I looked around me. I felt like I was home, demigods duelling, dranae's planning battle strategies and hell hounds painting each other's nails. Wait a second. I looked back at the hell hounds. How could they be painting their nails? I walked up to them.

"Excuse me, but um shouldn't you be doing something um other than painting each other's nails?" I asked them. I was sure they would just nod their heads or go off to do their jobs or something. But then they did something that surprised me even more.

"Like FYI you can't like tell us like what to do." Wait a minute, why were the talking in girly voices? Actually how were they talking at all? Things at this place had gotten really weird.

"Okay, well I'll just... leave you to that then."

Then they went back to painting each other's nails this weird pink colour. Hey! I knew that colour. I had some things to discuss with Little Miss Twinkleberry.

I walked over to Kronos's tent and stormed in. I wanted to know some things and he was going to give me some answers.

"Little Miss Twinkleberry why are the hell hounds painting their nails cherry blossom pink?" I loudly asked him.

"Well why do you think? I had a lot of paint left over and I wanted the camp to be more... fashionable." He told me like it a logical explanation.

"Fashionable, FASHIONABLE! Are you absolutely insane? We are not some fashion place. We are the next evil empire that will reign over this world! And you go around well... well... acting insane! Crazy! Loco! Do you want any other words because I have a freaking mini thesaurus in my pocket!"

"Pirate calm..."

"And that's another thing! Stop. Calling. Me. Pirate! Just because I have an eye patch doesn't mean I'm a pirate! Do you think its funny calling me Pirate? Because I don't think it freaking is! I think it's stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Suddenly I felt my body freeze. I couldn't move a muscle! Kronos must be using his time powers.

"Ethan can you shut up for one minute? I need to tell you something." He paused as if thinking about what he was going to say. This gave me the perfect opportunity to break out of his time grasp.

"And one more thing. Where are my Little Ponies? You said you would give me them! Where are they? Did you paint them in cherry blossom coloured paint! You did didn't you! You are a sick, insane son of a..."

"Stop now Pirate! I have your Ponies I will give you them, I just need to ask you something."

What could it be? Maybe he was asking me if he should go to a psychiatrist. The answer to that is yes.

"Okay go ahead, ask me."

"Do you want a carrot? I accidently ordered 700 more on eBay."

I stared at him in shock, but then I realised something very important that I should have realised when all this insaneness started. If you can't beat them join them and I was never going to beat Kronos so I may as well join the guy in his insanity.

"Sure Kronie, load me up! I want carrots because I'm a bunny! Hop hop hop! Hahahaha! And I want to go watch Twilight! And eat Bella, yum yum in my tum! I want to be a pirate and have a parrot name Polly! Whoop whoop, let's eat some carrots Little Miss Twinkleberry!

"Wow this guy's insane." Muttered Kronos under his breath.

**A/N: Well there you have it I hope you like the ending and that you enjoyed the whole story. Please review if you did or even if you didn't because I'm a very lonely person :( Anyway thanks for reading, toodles**


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